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Pool rules

These are the rules of the Westin pool.

Pool Rules


  • No running.
  • All persons shall bathe with warm water and soap before entering pool.
  • Any person known or suspected of having a communicable disease shall not us the pool.
  • Spitting or blowing the nose is prohibited while using the pool.
  • Do not use while under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
  • If no lifeguard is on duty, swimming alone is not allowed and anyone under 16 must be accompanied at all times by a person over 16 years of age.
  • Absolutely on glass is allowed in the pool area.
  • Appropriated swim wear must be worn in the pool. No cut off jeans or long pants allowed.
  • No diapers without rubber pants are allowed in the pool.
  • No flotation devices or toys, accept back bubbles and water wings, are allowed in the pool.
  • Pushing, wrestling , ball playing, dunking, splashing, or causing undue disturbance in and about the pool will not be tolerated.
  • All persons using the pool do so at their own risk and sole responsibly. The hotel accepts no liability for the injury, death or loss associated with the use of the pool, e.g. articles of clothing valuables, etc.
  • No pets allowed.

Four. Four little birdies.

Are you ready for a riddle? Okay. Here we go. How many little birdies does it take to sit in a tree and stare creepily at you? I’ll give you a second to work it out. Have you got it? Are you ready to check your work? Okay, first, turn your monitor upside down. Next get into a head stand. Now scroll down a little bit (oops I guess that should be up now that you’re upside down) and count all the cute little birdies!

That top one looks like he’s got some blood on his beak. I don’t think I colored it that way. Yeeples.


I was drawing a long weasel for Alec’s birthday during the priesthood meeting of Stake Conference when Shane Kigin asked me if I was drawing a foxtopus. I liked the suggestion so much that I abandoned the long weasel entirely and drew this noble foxtopus for Elliot’s birthday.


I told him that as far as tattoos go he could do worse — not that in any circumstances would I encourage the lad to get a tattoo. Still, a foxtopus on your cheek would be pretty sweet.

Lords and Ladies

Lords and Ladies is a book by Terry Pratchett. It is the fourteenth book in the Discworld series. The entire series is great, but this is one of the best that I’ve read so far. This is partially because the protagonists are three witches.

See, each Discworld book has different main characters at its focus. Some books are about the wizards of Unseen University, other books follow the City Watch of Ankh-Morpork, a few books deal mainly with Death. The books I like best are about the witches, though. There are three main witches: Magrat Garlick, who is the youngest and most put upon witch, Nanny Ogg, the sauciest and most colorful witch, and Granny Weatherwax, sort of the headstrong and proud leader of the coven, as it were.

Lords and Ladies is sort of a spoof of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, except not really. I mean, it has elements of the play in it, mischievous elves, a play within the book performed by some working men (they scoff at the idea of including a donkey in a play), and people being bewitched, but it really has its own story and ideas.

The thing that sort of drives the entire plot is that elves aren’t just mischievous, but downright evil. They’v been gone from our world for a long time and all that anybody can remember is how glamorous they are and how they are always laughing. It turns out that they are always laughing because they are amused when bad things happen to humans and they project an aura of glamour partially because they think so little of human beings.

Lords and Ladies has it all: comedy, romance, gripping action, and grappling with mysterious forces. I especially like how Terry Pratchett creates a believable and internally consistent world in his books. It has strange rules, but he obeys the rules and subtly reminds the reader that this world is like our world but not with clever story points, dialogue.

Wait, did I mention that there is an orangutan? It crunches some elves real good. You should definitely read this book.

Lunchtime amortization.

I dreamed that I did some service. Except I didn’t actually dream about doing the service I dreamed about standing in line after having done the service to get some food. It was a loooooong line. This was a very popular service project or possibly a very popular after service project lunch.

Even though the line was so long, it moved very quickly. (I almost wrote “it moved quick”. That would’ve been embarrassing.) Also, nobody got mad when people got ahead in line. Probably because we had all just done some service and were feeling great. Also, the line was moving so fast that it didn’t really matter.

When we finally got to the end of the line we ended up at a little restaurant where we ordered from a menu and they took time to prepare the food.  I was confused. I had expected a long table with chips and hot dogs. Easily mass produced food. How did the line move so quickly if at the end of it was just one small restaurant with slow service?

The answer, of course, was time travel. The restaurant was serving everybody simultaneously by spreading them out across the next year. I thought that this was a rather clever way to deal with a sudden spike in demand without losing any business.

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