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Monthly Archives: October 2008

They’re in love.

What do you think she sees in the beast?

Second First Date

All this and more, ladies.

For all eternity.

I wonder what the rules are for whether you turn into a skeleton or a ghost when you die. It probably has something to do with how well the skeletal frame has endured the manner of your death. I’m guessing that you run into problems as you wear the skeleton down in the afterlife and […]

"Cut it off" is not a helpful suggestion.

Last night I was watching television and feeling very uncomfortable. No, it wasn’t caused by Craig Ferguson coming on to Will Ferrell. That makes me titter. It was that I couldn’t stop thinking about how my right pinkie was touching my right ring finger. Does it always do that? Why don’t I notice it all […]

Don’t think about oxygen!

The worst part about dying in space is that nobody would hear you scream. Well, no. The worst part is that your bodily fluids would be gurgling and sploogling out through the crevices of your spacesuit and nobody would be able to hear those nasty, nasty noises. If I can’t make somebody barf while I […]

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