Lelanophilus

Splits. More specifically, the splits. Quite possibly the sexiest gymnastics move possible. Why is it so sexy? Gosh, who can tell. Maybe because it is the ultimate sign of flexibility? And everyone knows that being flexible is super sexy. Seriously, everybody knows this. And since flexible equals sexy and the splits equals flexible we know by the law of transitivity that the splits equals sexy.

ALSO sexy, incidentally, is maths. That is just a side note but a possibly useful one so remember it.

Anyway, I realized recently that doing the splits is a great way to get attention. I am all about attention.

I have decided that I want to do the splits. This led me to do some splits research into the splits. I have also decided that I am not going to be ridiculous about it like certain people.

I can hear you now. But these are all photographs of ladies, Joshua! You are a man. Can men do the splits?

Uh, yeah.

That would be most unrealistic case scenario. Best case scenario has me looking something more along the following lines in a few months.

HOLY COW is that dude sexy or what? Ladies I hope you held onto your … um … sexy meters? Because they are probably going off the charts or something now? That dude is pretty amazing, right? Someday. I’ve chronicled my best effort at doing the splits here for future generations.

I am optimistic that someday I will be able to comfortably touch groin to ground in a full splits. Just like my hero. Whoever that dude in the speedos is. I doubt that my nipples will ever be as glorious as his. OH WELL.