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Animal crackers in my soup.

When somebody is an ass for an hour and a half and at the end tries to excuse their boorish behavior by making a bad joke, the correct response is to laugh.  Really really laugh.  Laugh like a maniac.  Laugh like what they’ve said is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard.  Laugh for at least thirty seconds.

When you are done laughing, lean forward and merrily confide in a conspiratorial stage whisper, “I was going to follow you outside and use my pocket knife to slit open your throat but I can’t in good conscience deprive the world of such a delightful bastard!”  Be sure to smile as you walk away.


  1. Heather Lutes wrote:

    I will remember that!

    Tuesday, April 19, 2011 at 5:39 pm | Permalink
  2. Raymond wrote:

    How does that even work. “Sorry I pooped on your rug for ninety minutes, but knock knock:”

    Thursday, April 21, 2011 at 9:48 pm | Permalink
  3. Elizabeth wrote:

    Next time for sure!

    Friday, April 22, 2011 at 8:08 am | Permalink
  4. Joshua wrote:

    It was more along the lines of “Sorry I spent the entire class talking about the stupidest things in the world to this trollop with whom I would obviously like to get. Ha ha, I guess that will teach you to not change seats when I come in late to class and sit behind you. Ha ha.”

    Friday, April 22, 2011 at 2:37 pm | Permalink
  5. Emily wrote:

    Oh wow…so how many trollops do you have in your class? Just curious.

    Monday, April 25, 2011 at 6:33 pm | Permalink
  6. Sam wrote:

    oh my goodness, I’d forgotten how entertaining you are Josh! I loved finding your blog… I think I should NOT tell you which Sam I am though, just to throw you off… hmm, maybe a hint… I wrote you letters when you were a missionary…

    Thursday, April 28, 2011 at 6:32 pm | Permalink
  7. Emily wrote:

    As I was reading your title I tought it was going to say Animal Crackers in my poop…just sayin’

    Saturday, April 30, 2011 at 3:20 pm | Permalink
  8. Joshua wrote:

    My limited detective skills fail me yet again. Also, Emily, gross. I am shocked and/or appalled.

    Tuesday, May 3, 2011 at 12:29 pm | Permalink

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