Animal crackers in my soup.

When somebody is an ass for an hour and a half and at the end tries to excuse their boorish behavior by making a bad joke, the correct response is to laugh.  Really really laugh.  Laugh like a maniac.  Laugh like what they’ve said is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard.  Laugh for at least thirty seconds.

When you are done laughing, lean forward and merrily confide in a conspiratorial stage whisper, “I was going to follow you outside and use my pocket knife to slit open your throat but I can’t in good conscience deprive the world of such a delightful bastard!”  Be sure to smile as you walk away.

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8 Responses to Animal crackers in my soup.

  1. Heather Lutes says:

    I will remember that!

  2. Raymond says:

    How does that even work. “Sorry I pooped on your rug for ninety minutes, but knock knock:”

  3. Elizabeth says:

    Next time for sure!

  4. Joshua says:

    It was more along the lines of “Sorry I spent the entire class talking about the stupidest things in the world to this trollop with whom I would obviously like to get. Ha ha, I guess that will teach you to not change seats when I come in late to class and sit behind you. Ha ha.”

  5. Emily says:

    Oh wow…so how many trollops do you have in your class? Just curious.

  6. Sam says:

    oh my goodness, I’d forgotten how entertaining you are Josh! I loved finding your blog… I think I should NOT tell you which Sam I am though, just to throw you off… hmm, maybe a hint… I wrote you letters when you were a missionary…

  7. Emily says:

    As I was reading your title I tought it was going to say Animal Crackers in my poop…just sayin’

  8. Joshua says:

    My limited detective skills fail me yet again. Also, Emily, gross. I am shocked and/or appalled.

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