Sometimes I think.
- When I do push-ups my arms and my chest get sore, but not nearly as much when I do pull-ups. I’m thinking that this has got to mean that pull-ups will make me buffer faster.
- Does every bird get its own nest? I can’t imagine that they do. I just don’t see enough nests. I mean, I see zero nests and there are so many birds that they couldn’t all have really well hidden nests.
- The Spanish word for “squirrel” is “ardilla”. That is pretty cute. You could totally use it as a name for a pet squirrel and shorten it to “ardi” and then maybe your friend would think that you were saying “arty”. Ha ha, open your ears, man!
- Lesbians with lesbian friends have way too many options for smooch partners. I bet if you were to ask a lesbian about the worst part of being a lesbian she would say deciding who to smooch with. Or maybe deciding with whom to smooch if she was real snotty about grammar.
- How could I quickly prove that I was from the future if I went back in time? I really don’t know history well enough to be able to prove things by quick prediction and slow predictions that took a while to come to fruition probably wouldn’t do me very much good. I should really compile a list of events I could use as proof in the even that I accidentally time travel.
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1) Bullet ant catheters are the most painful and therefore best form of exertion.
2) I can only assume that most of them die before mating.
3) Sorry, the nickname “Ardi” has already been assigned to the early Pliocene hominid Ardipithecus ramidus.
5) Why do you think I have so many t-shirts commemorating historical events? (currently: 2/14/1985 NEVER FORGET(the ascension of Stanišić the Cropulent to the throne of Vojvodina). Try to avoid calamity-themed predictions or you’ll look suspicious.
4) Too many ladies to smooch cannot possibly be a worst problem.
1. Raymond’s Gym: blunt trauma makes you stronger.
2. Conclusion: being a bird would suck.
3. You can’t call dibs on a nickname even if you ARE an entire species.
4. The worst problem wouldn’t be smooching the ladies, it would be deciding which of the ladies to smooch. Or possibly the order in which to smooch them.
5. That one isn’t any good because I had a hard time believing that that wasn’t a place from World of Warcraft. “Guys I am from the future, this thing is happening in a place you haven’t heard of … see??”
Let’s count that as one more reason why I need a pet squirrel.
Suddenly a pet squirrel doesn’t sound quite so stupid. Right Joshua, RIGHT?
To tell the truth, ardilla also means chipmunk. A chipmunk would be better than a squirrel as a pet because you could make it wear a little fedora and leather jacket.
Plus you could get the chipmunk to sing and make lots of money for you.
Ha ha ha! Little chipmunk with his hair brushed forward all singing about babies!