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Girls Behaving Badly … in Sunday School

My Book of Mormon teacher drew the class’ attention to some wonderfully erudite books by Liz Curtis Higgs. The first is entitled “Bad Girls of the Bible” and features, as the name implies, more than sassy females of biblical fame. As intriguing as that title is, the second book in the series does it one better. You’ll probably need to have a serious discussion with your bishop after merely reading the title of “Really Bad Girls of the Bible”.

It isn’t really clear why Liz would choose to leave the really bad girls out of the first book. Perhaps she was just confident there would be a sequel (and really, who could doubt it?).

In addition to those two books, there is a third written by the same author that my teacher didn’t mention in class. Probably on account of its being the “ugly sister” of the bad girls family. “Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible” just doesn’t have much umph to it. Valiant effort, Liz, but I think you’ve just started squeezing powdered milk out of your cash cow.

Consider, though, the possibilities open to you in Mormonism, Liz! We’ve got a whole bunch of other scriptures with just as many bad, bad girls as everyone’s favorite holy text: the Bible. The Book of Mormon is chock full of girls being their bad selves. For example:

1 Nephi 18:9 And after we had been driven forth before the wind for the space of many days, behold, my brethren and the sons of Ishmael and also their wives began to make themselves merry, insomuch that they began to dance, and to sing, and to speak with much rudeness, yea, even that they did forget by what power they had been brought thither; yea, they were lifted up unto exceeding rudeness.

Hoo biddy! Not just any kind of rudeness, exceeding rudeness. Yeah! That’s the kind of bad that gets the tushes in the cushions. I am so excited by the prospect that I’ve already created a book cover! It has my Book of Mormon teacher’s name on it as the author, but it could be anyone’s. It’s just waiting to be written, guys.

I’m fine giving the book away because the real money is in movies. “Girls of the Book of Mormon Gone Wild” is coming soon to a theater near you.

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