
In today’s installment Clabby uses some off color language. It is pretty adorable.
English has plenty of suffixes and prefixes and, of course, we’re all familiar with them. At the very least, we use them all the time. A prefix comes before a word (like undo, or inspirational) and a suffix comes after a word (as in hotness, or cheeseburger). Boring, right?
Here is something cool though: English also has infixes! These don’t come before the word, or after it, but right in its squishy-ishy middle. Awesome! This is a language construct that we should tizotally be using all the blizooming tizime.
Suppose you are interested in getting in on the infix action, what is a simple way to do it? Just add a two syllable expletive to the middle of a word! For example, if someone were to ask you if you would like some more cheese with your whine, you could pithily reply, “Abso-freakin-lutely!” Or, if a person wanted to know what time it was you could befuddlingly tell them, “The taste of watermelon is fan-flippin-tastic!”
I’m sorry that all of my examples include lame euphemisms for the F word. I suppose if you were a Britisher you could say something like, “I have a great desire to sink my mal-bleedin-formed teeth into some del-wankin-icious crumpets.” So proper!
Now you can infix to your heart’s content! People will think you terribly edumacated.
I’ve discovered a new game!
To play you need to be walking in a corridor, or something like a corridor. You don’t need walls along the corridor as long as there is something else that blocks people from going off of it like a street or even grass. The corridor also can’t be too crowded. Finally, you need people to be walking towards you. We will call them sheep.
Okay, identify someone that is walking towards you and position yourself so that if somebody doesn’t shift their heading you will run into each other. Guess what, the sheep will shift! In fact, they will move to not run into you from quite a distance! This is probably because most people aren’t sociopathic jerks. Their loss!
Fun variations: