I was at Walmart and I had this vision. This vision of being that guy. That guy you go to when nothing is going right and you feel terrible and you tell him all your troubles and he sort of leans to the side and half smiles and pulls a butterscotch hard candy out of his pocket and hands it to you and you know everything is gonna be alright. You know, that guy.

I think you would be really great at that. Let me know when you are ready to start cause I sure could use a head tilt along with some butterscotch.
That Guy is NOT bestowing “Great Value” brand butterscotches(butterscotchi?).
Buttersceetch.
I think you would make an excellent “that guy”.