Affixiation.

English has plenty of suffixes and prefixes and, of course, we’re all familiar with them.  At the very least, we use them all the time.  A prefix comes before a word (like undo, or inspirational) and a suffix comes after a word (as in hotness, or cheeseburger).  Boring, right?

Here is something cool though: English also has infixes!  These don’t come before the word, or after it, but right in its squishy-ishy middle.  Awesome!  This is a language construct that we should tizotally be using all the blizooming tizime.

Suppose you are interested in getting in on the infix action, what is a simple way to do it?  Just add a two syllable expletive to the middle of a word!  For example, if someone were to ask you if you would like some more cheese with your whine, you could pithily reply, “Abso-freakin-lutely!”  Or, if a person wanted to know what time it was you could befuddlingly tell them, “The taste of watermelon is fan-flippin-tastic!”

I’m sorry that all of my examples include lame euphemisms for the F word.  I suppose if you were a Britisher you could say something like, “I have a great desire to sink my mal-bleedin-formed teeth into some del-wankin-icious crumpets.”  So proper!

Now you can infix to your heart’s content!  People will think you terribly edumacated.